Living in The Present Happiness

Why do you think Marvel/Disney's movie always be a hit? I am a big fans of Marvel superheroes but not so into Disney...but I will quote from Disney for the answer : they sell dreams! they give hope to all the audiences who watch. if you did some research, the basic idea was always about no matter how chaotic our lives is, there must be a hope...somewhere...someone. It makes us want to wake up tomorrow and walk a little further more. In my live, I am a typical of a person who run the life as flowing as a water. I know what to do when it is listed on my to-do list. But I never define how my future looks like. I let the universe paint for me. Because I learnt myself that the reality is always much much better than I pictured it before. I remembered my first assignment on my first job as a trainee. Nobody wanted it. Everybody frightened me that based on the previous experiences,it would be the worst amongst the others. Day 3 of my assignments I already got 27 tasks that I had no i...

Life is indeed an interesting thing that will never get bored to be explored. Define what life is, I bet you might find more than 100 definitions already! But it is not the point, because every one`s life is unique. Just like the bird is happy by eating worm... the flowers bloom when summer has come.... but how about humans? It is a rare thing, if I may say, somebody could finally say that I am happy just the way I am without no "If only". I am almost perfectly happy if only I could JUST 10 more centimeters taller! Hahaha.. what's yours? Try to make a list and then you re-read it back and see how many you could actually change now. Which one is easier : to change it or to just accept just like it is? This was a picture from my camera in Stockholm during 'promenera' that I put on my facebook page with caption: Bewa re of destination addiction : the idea that it is better to live in another place, be with another partner or another job. Until yo...

I don't know why but there is a popular song called "Wake me up when September ends". What happened with September, actually? For me myself, It is not my favorite month either. My mood was swinging up and down in that month.... I had two travelling to AMS and HAM on this month for my job, which were usually my mood booster. I have reached a phase where I finally give up on allowing external controls the inside me. It suits with the autumn season, where it shows that letting go can also be beautiful. Talking about letting go.... I saw one movie trailer called "the Swedish Theory of Love" : https://www.facebook.com/481767088670415/videos/481770962003361/ To be honest, I have not watched the movie myself. But the trailer gave me quite a thought-provoking sense... Is it true how this heaven on earth    is actually losing its human value?How could a man die for two years without anyone noticing? What if I die later, would somebody miss me? I started qu...

Some of my friends sometimes asked me to why they never see anything about my love story on my facebook. First, is because I do not have anyone fixed one. Second, is I dont feel comfortable to post it even I have one. Why? I am not sure if he will like it or not, and Indonesian society is full of judgement. They will ask, who he is, what his job is, what his level of education is, uh.. tough! It makes me think sometimes, if I am on the right way or not.... I mean, I keep doing something, dating, having fun, but I would say, I am not sure about what happens for the long term. I think I dont have such lucky fate to be a housewife since I were young. to be married with some Indonesian rich family's son, who seems to has no idea on what he will do in the future with his father's business, getting birth and being a socialite and posting nice pictures at expensive restaurant. I think I will have to work even if my husband is so damn rich. Not for competition but bar...

I used to thinking that after graduating from school then I have to get a job for a living, there will be no more vacation for me.... Thank God I still have that luxury here... So I have three weeks vacation and I invited my parents to come to Sweden. I think it is important for them to know what kind of life I am having here. So with several hindrances, finally they could arrive safe and sound here. Started from the missing baggage in AMS, so that my mom was so worried that the food she brought special for me would be rotten.... until the improper visa for some of our trip. Wow, I think paying 50 million rupiahs for the travel company for Europe trip is still reasonable, because it was indeed lots of things to prepare! lots of travelling, nice view and good food with my parents. Compared to what they have done to me for whole my life, that was nothing incomparable. It reminds me of how grateful I am to have them in my life.... I know that in my society to live...

I posted a youtube video of coldplay in May, mentioning how I liked this song so much and fell in love with Christ's performance.... In June, my friend asked me if I want to go tho their concert in STOCKHOLM!!! But apparently the ticket has been sold out. in the mid of june, she informed me that the ticket was available again, so we booked it. I would say that this is my first time to watch a big concert after F4 concert in Jakarta... *Blushing* The concert was very simple but the lighting was awesome. They gave us with a xyloband like this : The most awesome thing about this xyloband is that they can blink based on the song played. I have no idea how it worked. The concert was about almost two hours, but it felt like a blink of an eye. Very simple performance yet fantastic performance by Christ CS. I made a short video from my favourite song. Hope you can enjoy some part of it! It was really a magical and fantastic night for me! Det var en magisk ...

I am still unsteady after watching this movie.... really terjerker movie!!! although I am not as hard as I watched the fault in our stars... But this is an A-class movie for me. Short synopsis of this movie is simple (i'd better not spoil it here...), but the plot story, actors, actress, the settings of places, the soundtrack!!! Everything work in harmony. I wonder what makes people got so teary eyed after watching this movie? The purity of love that is rare nowadays? I have a moviegasm to watch this kind of movie. I heard from my Indonesian friend that this movie is not allowed to be shown in Indo, I believe because of the euthanasia topics. Worth dating move! ;p

Recently I just heard from my friend in Indonesia about her broken marriage... She is married for 3-4 years... They have a 2 year-old baby.... Her husband left her at her parents' house now. She has no jobs, so she has to survive by being a single mom with some decent money from her husband that lives somewhere else.... I am not sure either if the money is enough or not. The reason is : The husband wants her to get a job as well to support the family and another woman in their marriage life. Let's take this as an imaginary story.... So noone would hurt or be hurt.... But I am pretty sure, this kind of story... it is not something very special... I bet so many women experienced this problem.... Not only in Indonesia, but all around the world. I am not married yet, How am I supposed to understand this ? I have a job that can fulfil my own needs, how could I tell her to get a job? I ill not do that. To all those men who did this to your women,  You deserve the lowest...

Flower stars to bloom, but the weather in Stockholm is not warm enough for me to just wear my spring collection. I have to admit that actually I still need my winter clothes recently. But the sakura in Kungstragården cant wait to show their charm already! Am I in Japan?? No!!! This is Stockholm! Kimono girl in Stockholm That was my first time to see körsbärsblomning in Sweden. And apparently there was a Japanese culture day during my visit, so i try a Kimono and walked around wearing it. Some people asked for a photo together with me though...hahaha I felt pretty impressed with Kimono, took me 15 minutes to finished wearing it with the help of two Japanese ladies. But I didnot feel cold at all even without wearing jacket with just two layers of it!  Spring is the time when everything starts fresh.  New hopes....new lives....new colors... It is a sign for us to start fresh again for the whole life and get cheerful and colorful again. I try to do that. ...

Living in a developed country like Sweden is really like winning a jackpot.... This country has it all... good transportation... clean air... an exquisitely good public health system... ah hard to find a complain! But of course I mostly feel a bit lonely and miss my beloved people in Indonesia... If only they were here, this is a perfect heaven for me! I realize that this kinda thing is dangerous in your mindset. If only like this and that.... It is a state of lacking gratitude. We will never have a perfect condition.... We will always feel tired to run from one condition to another.... Our best options is to accept our current condition and make the best of it... I believe if we always look above, we will never always feel satisfied, unless we make is to create the best vesion of us. If we always look down, we could either be a selfish bitch or make it as a reflection to be grateful once again no matter what the condition is.... Be in the present moment... always find...

I think it was 15 years ago when the last time I got struck by Asian Drama... It was Meteor Garden. just by reminiscing that time, I felt so embarrassed already. If only they asked me to jump into the cliff, I would probably follow them. My brain was occupied with Dao Ming Shi's charms. It took me years to come back to reality that that kinda guy does not exist in this world. Now it seemed that it happened again.... The Descendants of the Sun. Due to the "bad experience" of being too immersed in a drama , I decided not to watch any of them anymore until this drama came into my life.... the nervous feeling.... the broken heart feeling... and the happiness they created had been real in my life.... it feels like giving them the power to decide your condition... A South-Korean TV Drama that was played by two super stars named Song Joong Ki and Song Hye-Kyo. Now I get the same feeling again. I feel so immersed with the movie until I cant have a proper sleep or mo...

Sometimes we never realize how much we have changed until one of our closest person woke us up. I think everybody who knows me clearly understand how much I love Sweden since the first time I came here. He said that I was struck by a disease called "Stockholm Syndrome". I heard it before but I am not really sure, so I searched again. the first hit you will find in Google probably be on this link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome But in summary, here is a simple sentence that could sum it up: "Stockholm was a unique situation. It occurred at around the time when we were starting to see more hostage situations and maybe people didn't want to take away something that we might see again." ( http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-22447726 ) Yeah, probably he was right. When I stepped back and think about that, what the hell I am doing here actually. I am 10,000km away from my blood family whom always take care of me very well!!! I had to break u...

I like to share some memorable part of my life on facebook. I just want to remember that moment,without any intentions to show off or anything bad. not at all. based on several comments, i got this feeling that some of my facebook friends got the idea that my life is so beautiful, perfectly beautiful. Tthis makes me reflect... is it? I believe everything in this world are balancing each other. Means, that if you want something more in one part, you need to put something more on that side. And that something might be something you can earn or sacrifice what you already have. At least there are several things that I find for the price that I have to pay when I am chasing my dreams:  You will feel tired of struggling alone . Nobody understand what you really want. Nobody will really help you to achieve that. there might be several help that you might get on the way. but for the complete process, it is you yourself that will fight for it. It is tiring. sometimes you just wan...

Out of nowhere , there was one spiritual teacher texted me via facebook... I met him in one Buddhist Vihara, I have to admit that previously I was nothing more than  a traditional Buddhist visitor, with zero knowledge of Dhamma. I even knew better about Jesus' history because I was in Catholic school all my life. But he has a superficial ability to teach Dhamma, until I realize that I need to learn Dhamma, literally. I have 100% faith on what I was doing because his explanation does make sense to me, then my faith is restored. But then I moved to Sweden. I could not attend the Dhammadesana anymore.I heard he also went to Myanmar to learn on higher level. Learning Buddhist is seriously sophisticated, lots of literature to be read and analysed. Then, suddenly he contacted me again to ask if I am still a Dhamma practitioner and he told me what he learnt so far. I'd prefer not to write here of what happened, but I would say what he taught me indeed messing  up in my mind. It...

So it happens again... the very last day everyday.... It is time to make a reflection for the whole year. 2015 for me has been ultimately awesome. 5 things that are so memorable for me this year : 1. Making my dream comes true by graduating a master degree abroad. yeah! I earned my Master of Science in Sweden. My closest people know very well how I struggle to achieve this. things that I almost gave up. But then I made it. I am very grateful for that. Graduation Pictures with my Indonesian friends in Nobel building. So proud and happy! 2.I got a job in Sweden. with a bonus of awesome colleagues. I had to admit that I almost could not control my happiness when I knew that I am offered with this job in Stockholm. Everyday I asked my parents to pray for me, because my time was limited, otherwise I must have gone home and never come back. I believe somehow that my parents' pray that made it come true once again. My boss is a very good leader with humorous personality b...