Faith

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Out of nowhere , there was one spiritual teacher texted me via facebook...
I met him in one Buddhist Vihara, I have to admit that previously I was nothing more than  a traditional Buddhist visitor, with zero knowledge of Dhamma. I even knew better about Jesus' history because I was in Catholic school all my life.
But he has a superficial ability to teach Dhamma, until I realize that I need to learn Dhamma, literally.
I have 100% faith on what I was doing because his explanation does make sense to me, then my faith is restored.
But then I moved to Sweden. I could not attend the Dhammadesana anymore.I heard he also went to Myanmar to learn on higher level. Learning Buddhist is seriously sophisticated, lots of literature to be read and analysed.

Then, suddenly he contacted me again to ask if I am still a Dhamma practitioner and he told me what he learnt so far. I'd prefer not to write here of what happened, but I would say what he taught me indeed messing  up in my mind. It's like all your faith was taken aback. everything you do was wrong.

Two days I got panicked.
Now i compare my case with what happened in this world.
I would say 100% stupid to ones who are willing to kill themselves in the name of religion.
But that is their faith!

I have my faith as well ( although it's never even close to kill an ant).
When your faith is broken, you seemed loose.
You feel powerless and taken aback. It feels so bad for not having something to hold on.

Lucky that I am not a surrender.
I did lots of research. I have my brain to be used for.
I was thinking, so here what happened to all those who have wrong faith. They basically do not have chances to prove it.

I am still in the shaken condition. Not feeling well.
But i know that I come back on the right track.

I think I will also stop being naughty, having lots of dates as my colleague suggested is not good. It's just making me away from the right one. I will come back on the right track where the right one will arrive on the right time. No need to rush everything.

How do you know if it's a wrong thing to do ? I believe that everyone is basically a good person. Listen to your heart, If it is not right, you will feel uncomfortable, nervous and just wrong! stop doing it and do some research until you find one explanation that satisfy your thirst, otherwise, stick with the rule of thumb: listen to your kind heart:you actually already know the answer.

Wish you all in a good condition!

Mettachittena,
Yustine Hendrika



Location: Stockholm, Swedia

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