The price of chasing a dream

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I like to share some memorable part of my life on facebook. I just want to remember that moment,without any intentions to show off or anything bad. not at all.
based on several comments, i got this feeling that some of my facebook friends got the idea that my life is so beautiful, perfectly beautiful.
Tthis makes me reflect... is it?

I believe everything in this world are balancing each other.
Means, that if you want something more in one part, you need to put something more on that side.
And that something might be something you can earn or sacrifice what you already have.

At least there are several things that I find for the price that I have to pay when I am chasing my dreams:

  1.  You will feel tired of struggling alone. Nobody understand what you really want. Nobody will really help you to achieve that. there might be several help that you might get on the way. but for the complete process, it is you yourself that will fight for it. It is tiring. sometimes you just wanna give up. If you're lucky, the support from the people you love is the biggest help that you can get. it's like a fuel when you're about to give up. but still, it is tiring and it feels lonely.....
  2. You have to adjust! not only adjust, maybe adapt is a more suitable word for it. Adaptation is hard. change is hard. you have to leave your comfort zone. find a good pace and routine just to make yourself at home in wherever you are.  The worst thing afterwards, you will not know anymore which one is your home. When you were at home, you feel uncomfortable since all you need is somewhere else, but when you are in other part of the world, you miss your home, you miss your family and hoping them are with you to comfort you.
  3. You will lose some friends and (maybe) boyfriend. You need to divide yourself into as much as possible. You will still do you job in the office. You will need to be a good daughter for your parents, give them a call at often as possible. You will try to have a time for your friends. and mostly you will not have only one group. you will have college friends, colleagues, travel friends, gossip friends etc etc. You will have to always prepare a slot for your boyfriend in the weekend. Although your body really needs to sleep. again, nobody will be able to replace you on your way to chase your dream. how good are you to maintain all of these relationship? probably you will make a list of priority on which one you have to sacrifice by the time goes by.....
Things are going good.... 
But I am afraid when I am chasing my dream, I will need to lose more that those that I have prepared.

I will lose myself.
I do not know anymore what I want to do next.

What is worse than not knowing what you want to do? 

I do not know if I was drowning in the ocean of my dreams and I start losing control of myself, setting wrong priorities in my life  or not.

I am so afraid and I wish my Mom still can shout at me to tell me what is the right thing to do! that was much easier!!!




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